Some Jokes!

• Two car salesmen were sitting at the bar. One complained to the other, "Boy, business sucks. If I don't sell more cars this month, I'm going to lose my fucking ass!"
  Too late - he noticed a beautiful blonde, sitting two stools away. Immediately, he offered apologies for his use of bad language.
  "That's okay," the blonde replied, "I have a very similar problem ... If I don't sell more ass this month, I'm going to lose my fucking car!"

• I was recently riding with a friend of mine.
  We were coming to a red light, and he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" He tells me this is how his brother drives.
  We come to another red light, and again, he shoots right through it. I ask him, "Why'd you do that?" Again, he tells me this is how his brother drives.
  We come to a green light, and he SLAMS on the brakes. My heart nearly goes into my throat. I shouted at him, "Why do you do that?!"
  He replied, "You never know, my brother could be coming the other way."

• Eddie was driving down the road and a met a car coming the other way. Although there was room to pass easily, Eddie forced the oncoming car to slow down and wound down his window and shouted 'Pig' . The other driver looked in his rear view mirror and swore at Eddie. Then his car hit the pig.